gross
ephemeral
kitsch
prefab
Goliath
mundane
strewn
mogul Branson
BBQ
hyena
badassitude
yank
ballistic
Guantanamo
spooky
inflammatory jeremiad
Oh, the horror! Oh, the shock! Oh, the humiliation!

Hoping to enhance my status as a manly man, I recently purchased a travel-sized can of Gillette shaving gel. Being a discriminating consumer, I was drawn to the product by its burly packaging and subtle-yet-masculine scent.

So you can imagine the dismay and distress I experienced when, after a few weeks of use, the label on the can began to peel. After the label fell off completely, the true nature of my manly can of shaving cream was revealed.

Oh, the shame! Oh, the sexual confusion! My sense of identity is in tatters.